Why I Believe 500 Days of Summer Is One of the Best Romance Films in Existence
Warning: Spoilers
I know I probably haven’t watched every single romance film ever but I’ve certainly watched a fair share. From a diverse range of directors too. I just haven’t found one that provided a more enjoyable viewing experience than ‘500 Days of Summer’.
However, “this is not a love story”. From the very beginning of the film, we are warned that this isn’t a typical girl meets boy romance. In fact, the two main characters have very different perspectives on love. What often happens in these types of movies is that one of the characters will change their perspectives as they discover that “true love can exist” or some other grand notion like that. Not in this film, at least not in the way you would expect. I think that’s part of why this film is so refreshing. Mixed in with some crude and dark humour, it makes for an unforgettable watch.
We are viewing the movie from the perspective of Tom, a hopeless romantic who immediately takes a liking to the new manager’s assistant, Summer. He is convinced that they must be soulmates. Unfortunately for Tom, Summer doesn’t believe in love. She consistently communicates that she only wants a casual relationship. Unfortunately for Summer, Tom views this as a fun challenge.
From Tom’s perspective, Summer is his ‘pixie dream girl’, someone who he believes if he can win over, will add much more value to his life and provide him with direction. Consequently, he projects much of his ideals onto Summer, not having realised that it’s injuring their relationship. This creates a toxic environment where Tom ignores Summers desires in pursuit of his own fantasies, ultimately destroying the relationship.
Despite this, Tom continues to pine over Summer, hopeful for the chance to spark something between them again. In the process, never reflecting on how his actions contributed to the anguish he feels. It is only later in the film when he realises that Summer won’t come back, that he accepts his sister’s advice to look back at their relationship and at all of the negative aspects that he’s been selectively avoiding.
Now, there are plenty of reasons why I love this film but I am going to highlight two in particular.
One, it conveys that you cannot have a healthy relationship without compromise. Obviously, Tom’s inflexible ideas about love doom his relationship from the beginning, but there a few key moments in the film that portray this idea brilliantly. For example:
Tom- “I need to know that you’re not going to wake up in the morning and feel differently”
Summer- “I can’t give you that, no one can”
People aren’t possessions. They can’t guarantee that they will want to be with you forever and you can’t force them to stay. No matter how much you love your significant other. If they don’t want to be with you, they don’t want to be with you. I know in many of the films I’ve watched characters always try to make big romantic gestures to win back someone and often they’re successful. In those scenarios, it can be argued that maybe it was what was right for that specific relationship but that’s not always going to be the case in real life. For me, it was amazing to finally see an exploration of a scenario where letting the other person walk away was the best option.
This film looks at compromise from another perspective. One of my favourite moments in the film was when Paul (one of Tom’s friends) talks about his dream girl. He talks a little about what qualities she would have including “a really bodacious rack” but then acknowledges that even though his girlfriend (Robin) does not have those qualities exactly, “Robin is better than the girl of my dreams. She’s Real”.
Don’t get me wrong. Not everyone should lower their standards, especially those who have previously been in toxic relationships, like Summer. However, just like Tom, we have to be careful not to fall in love with the idea of a person. We’ve probably all had an idea of who our perfect partner would be at least one point in time. In reality, everyone will disappoint you at some point; an idea that is amazingly portrayed through the director’s reality vs. expectations montage. This film is incredible at highlighting why we should set realistic expectations for a relationship and not romanticise everything so much.
Two, this movie shows you why you cannot live your life waiting for someone else to make you happier. Tom’s dream is to be an architect but he believes that Summer is the key to his happiness. This is despite the fact that after a while, they make each other feel miserable. Although Summer continually encourages him to follow his aspirations, he never takes action while they’re together. It is only when Tom begins to give up on the idea of Summer encapsulating his future that he makes any effort to pursue his passion. In giving up his dream of a life with Summer, he is forced to reconcile with the idea that he himself will have to create the life he wants. Waiting for someone else will only send him into a cycle of despair. This is one of the only films I’ve seen that try to illustrate this idea, let alone execute it exceptionally.
Now, I will acknowledge that some people hate the ending. I was amused by the ending, some people may not be and that’s ok. I believe It doesn’t take away from the ideas presented in the film and makes sure not to diminish notions such as “true love” completely. The perfect balancing act in my opinion.
I really hope you watch this movie if you get the chance. I think you’ll really enjoy this fresh perspective coupled with the occasionally crude and or dark joke. Feel free to let me know what you think in the comments.
